Being the daughter of a mother with fibromyalgia is difficult, it can certainly put a strain on this mother-daughter relationship because sometimes it feels more like a relationship between you and your mother’s fibromyalgia than a relationship between you and your mother. I learned that there are good days and bad days.
The days you need more support, help, more positive words, love, etc., and there are days when you need space because you feel a little more unpleasant, a little more emotional, and a little more frustrated. I don’t know of anyone else, but I was blessed with an amazing mother! The one who is a great role model, one who shows a lot of strength and perseverance. I learned a lot from my mother, but I want her to know that even though having fibromyalgia can be horrible, and it can make life unbearable at times, Mom, I hope you know that I love you to the moon and back and always will be. It does not matter that.
Being the daughter of a mother with fibromyalgia made me realize and accept the fact that there will be days when my mom needs me to go to town for shopping because driving around town, walking around the store, and carrying heavy bags can do. that really Tired and really hurt.
There will be days when she needs an extra hug. There will be things that will be missed, like choir concerts or sporting events, because getting up, getting ready, and sitting in an uncomfortable auditorium chair for 2 hours will make it much worse tomorrow.
But I learned that I don’t care if she loses some of these things, because I know she always thinks of me when I do them, and she’s always excited to hear them when I go home.
Being the daughter of a mother with fibromyalgia can be difficult because some days you feel helpless, which is one of the worst things! Watching your mother suffer and struggle is difficult, and knowing that she wants to do more than her body physically allows is so hard to see.
Mom, I just hope you know that I’m here for the good days and the bad too. I am always there as a solid foundation for you. A shoulder to cry on, on the not so good mornings, a person to laugh uncontrollably with the extra good mornings, a person to throw back on the more frustrating days, and I’m also here to try and put a smile on your face every day. Because although I am the daughter of a mother with fibromyalgia, I am also the daughter of a very good mother!
“I love you madly!”
Love your punkin
by Haley Puddicombe
A letter of thanks from a mother with fibromyalgia to her daughters.
Life has certainly been difficult as this condition has reared its ugly head. My life has been turned upside down and things will never be the same again. But that doesn’t just apply to me, it applies to you too. I realize and try to understand that my life as I have known it will never be the same. But I also learn that life, as you know, has also changed. I don’t know when things started to change, but when I look at girls being little, I remember a lot of funny moments, a lot of laughs and a lot of adventures.
As we got older, we managed to have amazing fun and lots of laughs. But in recent years, things have changed. I never said no to what we had in store for the day. Shopping, family trips, camping, everything we wanted to do as a family. My life began to decline, my physical well-being was far from what it was. Now I have learned that I have this disease called fibromyalgia.
Things will not be the same. You girls watched me change and slow down. I can’t do the things I used to do anymore, and I won’t be able to do things with you like before. Few families understand what fibromyalgia is or how it affects a family. But from the first day, since I learned that things were not going well for me, you have progressed, you have learned that things were going to be different, you have never questioned it, you have simply followed it. You have never questioned this new reality that you are dealing with.
You girls have learned that the things I used to do, I can’t do anymore. You have learned that some days I try harder than I should. And the most important thing you learned was that you had more mommy. That is something very important for a 17-year-old and a 13-year-old, but neither of you wondered what was happening, why it was happening or how it would affect you. The girls now had to adjust to a new normal, as I had to, and yet there was never an instant missing.
You have learned when I need extra help, when I need you to shop for me, or when I need time to be alone. You have learned to read my face and you know when things are not going well and you seem to know things that could help me. Since coping with this condition, she also learned that sometimes my mood was unpredictable, happy one minute, crazy the next, and crying shortly thereafter. You must have learned the hard way that any mood is unpredictable.
But you ride with him and you don’t question him. I used to attend all school and extracurricular activities, but now if it’s a bad day, you understand that attending activities can cause more pain and make the next day more uncomfortable and you are more understanding. Girls, you always seem to know when mommy needs a little more love and a little more attention.
Hugs and kisses, “favors”, shopping, chores and all the day-to-day things I need help, you know when it’s necessary. Since this new reality has become our life, you have never given up hope for me or for me. It’s something that no kid your age should have to deal with, but you handle it with grace and strength. You have never depreciated who I am now or made me feel less like a mother.
Little gestures like hugs and kisses, flowers, helping around the house or sending me on the couch when you know I’ve done a lot, means more than you will ever know. I’m a pretty lucky mom in so many ways. Most importantly, I am the proud mother of two amazing girls who I love on the moon and back. My “punkin” and my “boo” … I love you more than you will ever know!